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On another note [Dec. 9th, 2010|10:16 am]
It's OK. It's a more comfortable thought that I am so deeply flawed and crazy that this is not an abuse situation, and it's "marital problems" instead, and I'm just not taking responsibility for my part in it.

That's OK.

I absolve to let others think what they will.

8 days left, and hope is on the horizon.
Brad is making statements to select people on FB. If you want to read what he has to say, and you can't see it, or you're not on FB, contact him.

He is stepping forward and taking responsibility for his actions.
I can do no less. But in my case, looking back on all the years of what I've done, I REALLY, REALLY know that I'm a strong, capable person, with lots of love in my heart.

Can't that be true?
If the idea that I conducted myself as well as or better than most would have--if that threatens some preconceived notion of abuse as invited and partially the victim's fault, then don't believe me.

[User Picture]From: whitiger
2010-12-10 12:47 am (UTC)
I believe you. I wish that I had more to offer you. I really admire you for taking a stand and working for your marriage, a better relationship, and a better person in Brad. I understand that most women stay in that type of situation or if they leave they usually return to the abusive situation. It is rare and commendable for a woman to stand up for herself, her children, and her husband. By that I don't mean condoning his behavior but standing up for the man he should and could be. If that makes any sense at all.

Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you.
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[User Picture]From: crimson_musing
2010-12-10 03:46 pm (UTC)
"...standing up for the man he should and could be."
THIS is what I'm trying to do.

I will NEVER fall into the trap of saying that Brad is INCAPABLE of making the right choices. Never. He has always had it in him to be GREAT, as we all do. I say it like it's simple. To me, it is simple. Live by a code. Live an examined life. Don't be afraid to criticize YOURSELF or your own actions. Have fear, but don't live by that fear. Make your motivation JOY.

I think it's simple, but I'm not claiming it's easy. Those are separate issues.

If those are the standards that are "too high" and "irrational" . . . then I don't want to BE rational or have "normal" standards.

Thank you, Stephonie.
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