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crimson_musing

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is a big dummy dumb-dumb-head [Dec. 10th, 2010|08:47 pm]
crimson_musing
The title says it all.
Seriously, pretty sure I do at least 100 things absolutely wrong every day.
Bailey is sick, and so am I. Blech.

Did you know that I wet the bed for a long time growing up?
I was a pretty old kid before I stayed dry all night long by myself.

Also, on the topic of embarrassing things you probably don't want to know, no one ever gave me The Talk. I think I learned it all through reading books way past my "age level" and TV. Then, of course, Sex Ed in school.

You want more? I'm on a roll.
My mom didn't know I had gotten my period until my 3rd period. I had managed to use WAY TOO MUCH toilet paper, ruin lots of underwear (which I hid under my bed) and keep it super quiet until she found out by accident.

Is this a pattern with me or what? Don't know how to handle something, scared, try to do it myself. For a long time. Asking for help or telling anyone ='s absolute last resort.

Also, my room was such a mess that it wasn't until much later when my aunt was helping me (in an unasked for and embarrassing manner) clean out my room that the bloody underpants were found. I think I nearly died. A part of my soul is still cringing in abject shame.

Oh, I yelled at Rylie the other day for slapping me in the face.
He's a baby. I yelled at a baby. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways, it was more like a shout, and at least I didn't throw him on the couch from standing position when he was a newborn. Oh, yeah. Brad did that, not that he might remember.

So, in summary, I'm a terrible person.
Feel free to write me off and never think of me in a positive light ever.
*firm nod*
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: alive49
2010-12-11 03:32 am (UTC)
::hugs:: You are not a terrible person, you're just going through a tough time right now. Hang in there!
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[User Picture]From: whitiger
2010-12-11 05:10 am (UTC)
I am sorry.
I have failed you.
I offered you a possible resource and I have been so caught up in my own world that I failed to follow through.
I will find that information and get it to you by Sunday night.
Please forgive me.
Thank you, for trusting me enough to share a part of your life.
Love you,
Steph
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[User Picture]From: astridsdream
2010-12-11 05:54 am (UTC)
And here I thought I was the only one to use wads of toilet paper for the first few bleedings.

We were at the beach for a week when I started. My mom found out that time, but only because I put the bloody underwear in the laundry instead of under my bed.

It's hard to ask for help. ::hugs:: Me, I'm glad to know you're human and do dumbity-dumb human things. Also that I wasn't the only one to hide my first menstruation from anyone who might be able to help.
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[User Picture]From: kpooka17
2010-12-12 07:07 pm (UTC)
I did the exact same thing. I was told it would happen but it's not like they tell you what it looks like. So after two days I summoned the courage to show my mom the underwear/ She then followed it up with a congratulations and showed me where she kept the pads. Still I had gone two days being terrified that I had shat myself or something.

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[User Picture]From: shortfieryone
2010-12-15 03:46 am (UTC)
You are not a terrible person. When Steven was Riley's age I remember I had him on my shoulder and he bit me...hard...and it hurt...so I had a normal human reaction and shouted NO to my baby boy...who instantly began to cry making me feel like crap...but that is what we do. We are hurt and scared and we react without thinking...that doesn't make us horrible people it simply makes us human.
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[User Picture]From: mad_willy
2010-12-21 09:13 am (UTC)
I refuse. I will continue to send psychic unconditional positive regard from my rainy northwestern home.
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[User Picture]From: janusmzeal
2010-12-23 07:30 pm (UTC)
no one gave me the talk either. I learned from friends' lewd jokes, and maybe movies, even the internet. sex ed never even taught me what went where.
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